Animal fun fact: Chinchillas can’t get wet. Their fur retains too much water and will start to grow mold. So they bathe by rolling around in dust.
Chinchilla fun fact: Chinchillas have around 20 hairs per follicle; unlike humans who have 2-3 hairs per follicle. Because their fur is so dense, they cannot get fleas or other parasites. The bugs will suffocate in their fur.
Chinchilla fun fact: Petting one of those awesome little guys feels like touching a motherfucking cloud.
Chinchilla fun fact: Their newborn babies are like little pieces of fluffy popcorn. You could easily just toss a handful in your mouth.
Chinchilla fun fact: Don’t toss a handful into your mouth.
I think the “women are mysterious” thing can also come from:
1) Women actually being quite clear, but not telling men what they want to hear. ”She said she doesn’t want to talk to me? So many mixed messages and confusing signals!”
2) Women not having cheat codes. ”I tried being nice, and she didn’t have sex with me. I tried being an asshole, and she didn’t have sex with me. Come on, there’s got to be some kind of solution to this puzzle!”
3) Women not being a hive mind. ”First a woman told me that she likes guys with big muscles. Then the very next day a woman told me she thinks muscles aren’t attractive at all. Make up your mind, women!”
4) An individual woman doing something confusing, and instead of asking “why is she doing this now?” men ask “why do women always do this?”
There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
let’s play Did I Always Have That Personality Trait Or Did I Absorb It From A Character?
Bonus round: wait one fucking second isn’t that something my friend says and now I’m saying it too
and then there’s my favorite: Did I Get That From My Friend Or Did They Get It From Me?
Can’t tell if his family is rich or if he has a rich sugar daddy
Me: hey mom…can I get a free iphone from verizon?
mom: hehe…yeah sure…in your dreams you lil fucker.
Omfg what if you landed on a planet that supported life and the “humans” there were much more technologically advanced and they made you come back to life from your remains and you just woke up after death in a random ass planet.
Sex on the Beach
And Finally, Swimming Pool
"No officer, for the last time, I did not smoke weed. Thats just my new perfume, cannabis flower"
What the actual fuck?
Manueluv and I are convinced Agent K is Coulson’s father. Hell, MIB is even owned by Marvel.
Welp. Never gonna unsee this.
HEADCANON ACCEPTED SO FAST I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING
Guys - who do you think told Phil all those stories about Cap?
THIS POST IS OVER 2 YEARS OLD AND IT JUST. GOT. BETTER.